End of 2017 Rant


2017 is almost ending (wow so quick?), and I'm in the mood for some new year resolutions. but at the same time, I've been busy with final exams. I can't even sit down and decide which subject I want to study first. but that's not why I'm here (actually that is why I'm here, procrastinate)

as I think of what should be my goal for the next year, it hits me that my goal shouldn't be short terms anymore. I am 20 years old, and I have great things waiting for me in 5 years or so. marriage, graduation, working world...

short-term goals were meant for kids who can't wait to see progress and tick whats on their list. as we were older, we can wait longer, be more patient, and focus on improving ourselves instead of completing the list.

checking off the list of last year, I got 3 things done and 2 others partially done.

  1. I did C programming, which I learned on my own, and actually, they teach C++ here in the university so that's a bonus.
  2. I learned Mandarin. though I haven't finished the beginner course yet, I'm doing great!
  3. Learn cursive handwriting. its still bad but I'm improving over time
  4. I learned cooking, a bit. 2 recipes. not bad haha
  5. I did 4 poems this year and 2 short stories. that's ridiculous! I forgot I wrote stories.

and another 5 things done from the one-time event list.

The thing is about learning is that they don't have measurement haha. there is no end to learning something so how to decide whether I did it or not?

 I believe I did great. that is the measurement.

So let's see. for the next 5 years, what do I want to accomplish? getting married? get good jobs?

well for a starter, I want to be a good mother. who doesn't? lol

so I need to 
  1. know how to cook like Pang Suyen, or is it Ho Suyen now?
  2. learn parenting/human or kids psychology
  3. become a role model, cool role model
and this list will become longer over the years to come.

as for getting a job, I don't know. I have no idea what I want to be or who I want to work with. so I need to
  1. figure it out
lol well that's enough goals I have there. hope I can accomplish it in 5 years time or so.

this is the vaguest goal I've ever done.

First family visit

Writing this as a good friend of mine sleeping on my bed, while I'm sitting next to her feet with my laptop blocking it to stretch.

it's 5:17AM and I'm still wide awake. I sure do have a couple assignment, or maybe five. but who cares? not me, not at this hour.

I was coding a bit till it was 2 and a half hour in the morning, it was a bit late to go to bed really, though I'm literally on my bed all night long. She just went to sleep 30 minutes ago, after asking for confirmation if I really am not going to bed.

if I sleep now, I'm sure as hell won't wake up for Fajr prayer, say hello to hell!

I was trying to watch some tutorial on youtube about database system like she did on programming, but my brain won't function at this hour. pity.

I told myself a lot of times in my life. its a waste of time staying up and trying to do shit. it won't work. nothing productive came out of this. yet I still did.

my stomach is rumbling for a while now, yet I have nothing much to eat. my family came down to see me this afternoon, and they visit my room for a while. my favourite littlest brother asked about the displayed snacks on a hanging shelf. I didn't touch it at all.

Like a doting sister I am, I gave it all to him. and as we went back to the car, he saw sweets on the stairs. he didn't ask for any but I offered to him. and he said, can you pay for me first? I'll pay it back later.

Hey don't worry about money too much little kiddo. you're still so young to care about this kind of thing. just enjoy your life.

that was sweet of him, but I offered to treat him. with hands hugging a bunch of snacks, he grinned widely.

that's a smile I missed the most. we didn't meet each other for probably 2 months or so, and he's the only one I missed during my stay here.

the worst thing of departing from them this evening, is that it feels so silent.

"all the riot, then a silence. tears a man apart."

and when I came to the room, no one was there. it breaks me more than ever. Those kids were as lively as a circus.

I'm not really sure the purpose of me writing this down. I'm bored and waiting for fajr I guess. but thank you for reading it. i'll be sure to come back sometime soon.


First Assignment!

im not even in my own room lol

Today is the first time I did my assignment. It's in Math for Computing I. I don't like the lecturer though. he's a foreigner and a bit boring haha
but I really like math so that balance it out.
my first assignment is given through italeem. I don't know how I should submit it. should I print the question as well and submit it with my answer, or should I answer it online? lol
but I finished my assignment on paper and I'm thinking of submitting it on Tuesday by hand.
but its really an exciting assignment.

I hope I'm always this excited for assignments in the next 4 years.

I was so excited that I posted this on my WhatsApp status haha

QOTD: "don't let the fire inside of you died out 🔥"

on another note, a friend of mine asked if it's fun to be in IIUM.

well, dude..

fun is everywhere. you just gotta get excited for every little thing happens to you. Whether it's your first fried chicken or Ice Tea in a while, or your hangout with friends at dinner that you waited for every night, or even your first football match.

even first class, new friends, new subject, a new programme, new fair, just get excited on everything! my life has been very fun so far. I even have my first fight with a senior lol! everything was so much fun!

enjoy your 4 years. such a short period of time.

good luck!

p/s: of course it's more exciting with me <3 p="">

letter to a friend: changing courses

I used to stop people from changing subject or course that they don't like
like when a friend of mine said she wants to drop Addmath in form 4
I was like don't
because of whatever reason I have back then
even though she's dying in the subject
and I'm not helping at all

but now, if someone said "I don't like ICT" or "I'm not interested"
I'll listen to them very carefully and I'll observe their behavior when the topic came,
and I realize they don't feel interested in it
well, what can I do?
I cant ask them to stay, in fact, I don't want to
because I don't want to go to an ICT fair and jumping up and down alone, getting all hype and excited
while he/she stands there and feels nothing.
or worse, dragging me to go back home early.

so why should I ask them to stay? I rather not have any friends than having someone not interested in the same thing I did

change your course if you want, I don't mind, not my business.
if you like law go for it
if you like health go for it
if you like Arabic yes go for it
as long as you're happy then nothing else matters
but choose wisely
because you're going to stuck with it for 4 years
and no one's sorry can get it back.

Merdeka, University, EPT, and New gadgets

hellooo hai hai haiiii

so today is Malaysia's Independence Day! Thank you google for the amazing artwork.

we'll catch up to your technology and innovation in 40 years!

Did I tell you guys that I'll be entering IIUM this September?

well, I just did. yayy

so I'm going there next Tuesday. man, the shopping alone costs me around 700 bucks, like I didn't have a single shirt.

but that's okay. my brother, who currently preparing to enter with me, together, 2017/2018 intake, costs more than 1000 bucks. he's insane.

girl's item should cost more with skincare, undergarment, and pads. why does his cost more?

if you're wondering if we are a twin, the answer is no. he, being the weird dude he is, take a year break after STPM because he's tired. my dad didn't mind, because he scored 4 flat, or for whatever other reason, but my dad just doesn't mind as much as mom.

She freaked out when my brother got accepted in Economics but he doesn't want to go. Hell if he's my son I'll freak out too.

but enough about that.

my 9 months holiday is almost over, hell I can get pregnant and gave birth by now.


nevermind, I'll be back home at Deepavali and bake it.

but this 9 months tho, I had a list of what I wanted to do after STPM. I think I still got it. yep, got it. I'll upload it in my next posts.

but really, I haven't upload my diary during form 6, because I need to draw a graphic to go along with it but my drawing sucks. haha. and I haven't even finish the form 5 diary. all the fun stuff.

anyway, I'm worried about my English Placement Test. It is stated that if students didn't pass the test, then they need to take another term solely for English. what...

I think this test is like TOEFL or IELTS. basically need to know the format and rules before answering. and vast vocabulary, I think.

as far as I know, it only has writing and reading test, which is great! less thing to study. I already studied task 1 (don't remember TOEFL or IELTS), and I'm super lazy for task 2. it is also said that the reading test is so hard, far harder than MUET lol

I'm dead

alright alright, i'll study.

what else should I say? oh yeah I bought a new phone from Xiaomi. It's Xiaomi Redmi 4X. why? because first the iPhone's battery becomes bloated, or bent, because overcharging I guess. so I changed the battery, but I don't know the repair guy did a horrible job that I lost its fingerprint. so I went back there to ask why my fingerprint broke. and they said it's not their fault, there is a screw missing. then why don't they just add another screw? screw you! I think there's a bigger problem here. *sigh*

but nevermind that, I can cope with the fingerprint. I still can use the phone, but my brother insisted that I have a hot hand, I don't know where he picked that term, but I think it means everything I touch will break hahaha no wayy i'm a fixer, not a destroyer.

so he took it back. and my second brother (who's enrolling IIUM with me) wants it so he paid me RM350. damn, he got the phone, with the new battery that costs me RM120 and I paid the phone for RM500. and he got it with RM350?

never mind lahhh why need to obsess with money right?

really never mind, I just want to cover the cost of my new phone.

so the Redmi 4X or I call it Forest (get it? 4X?), has a really cool fingerprint sensor, it can detect in split second, and can be used with a little sweaty hand, unlike iPhone.

but the cool thing is with the fingerprint, is that I can access to my Maybank just by my finger. hah, no need password anymore. but if I want to transfer money, of course, i need the password. security first.

for other specs, you can check online lah. don't want to write very long already

but I really recommend this phone for low budget students who need a powerful phone. It has 3GB RAM and 32GB ROM, so i think okay la. very good la for a budget phone. The camera also very nice. front and back. what else do you need? battery? HAHAHA

this battery can be used up to 2 days for a heavy user like me, for a normal or light user, I think can last up to 4 days. but currently i'm using dual sim (yes it also has dual nano sim or one sim one SD card), so it took a little bit more battery. but still it lasts me 1 day and half. thats great! iPhone cant even last 12 hours.

oh and I also got a laptop from my dad, for university use, ever since the last post before this. that post is for testing the keyboard so hahaha

my dad bought a new one for himself and I got his. it's 2 in 1 laptop, which can become tablet as well. I think it's Acer Switch Alpha 12, with Intel core i3. I already downloaded Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Lightroom although im not sure what im gonna use it for.

so i think that's all, my next update will be from Gombak, so stay tuned Adios :)